Since my congregation, the Unitarian Society of Santa Barbara overwhelmingly passed a resolution opposing California Proposition 8, which would strip same sex couples of their right to marry - things have been very busy!
We have been running Sunday morning phone banks between and after services, calling undecided voters to encourage them to vote no. We've also put up a big bright banner in front of our church on a busy street, distributed many yard signs and buttons - and then capped it all off with a march from our sanctuary to the courthouse for a rally. Even though the rally took place on a Monday morning and folks didn't know it was even happening until Sunday morning, at least fifty or sixty of us turned out. It was great fun!
I was one of the speakers at the rally, along with Representative Lois Capps, our Congresswoman, Mayor Marty Blum, the always awesome Rev. Mark Asman and other community leaders.
Here is what I had to say:
Love is at the very heart of my faith, and striving to build a world ever more full of love and hope and possibility is at the heart of my ministry and my life. Love is sacred.
Marriage is the highest, the most sacred expression of loving commitment that two people can make in our society. Marriage is about commitment and it is about love. It is all too easy to get sidetracked into thinking about marriage like an accountant, balancing up the ledger, tallying up the one thousand or so legal and tax benefits that accrue to couples that are legally married.
I have never met a single couple who came to me and said, “We want to get married so we can start profiting from all the many wonderful legal and tax benefits that come with marriage! Boy oh boy - when can we do this thing?”
No. People do not get married for these things, although these things do matter. They want to get married because they want to say, “I do.” They want to join that great stream of all the loving couples who have come before them, joining their hearts forever in marriage. Marriage is not about taxes. It’s about love.
And so I cannot stand by as the same old arguments that were used to keep inter-racial couples from marrying are trotted out yet again and used to keep my same sex sisters and brothers from marrying. Some people say civil unions, “Separate but equal” but I say that separate has NEVER been equal!!! Only two hearts can decide who should be married and who should not and that decision does not belong to any government!
I have only been married for a few years now, and I know that marriage is sometimes hard. I am blessed with so many other couples that help me find my way in marriage – and many of those couples happen to be same sex couples. Their love and commitment is a blessing on this world, and my faith calls me to stand always on the side of equality, justice and love. That’s why I am voting NO on proposition 8!
And now I would like to introduce one of those couples who bless the life of my congregation: Andrew Knox and Doug Reid, wonderful fathers, who although already married in Canada years ago, have just pledged their love anew in a ceremony of marriage at our church this morning! Come on up, guys.
For more about how Santa Barbara's congregations and clergy are positioned on Prop 8, check out this article in our weekly newspaper, the Independent:http://www.independent.com/news/2008/oct/26/santa-barbaras-clergy-proposition-8/
All of this is certainly attracting a good deal of attention. My voicemail at work has been full of messages - some positive, some quite negative. Our congregational voice is being heard. Not everyone likes what we have to say, of course - but at least we are relevant, and most definitely walking our talk. I am proud to serve such a fine community.
Of course we cannot know if we will be successful in protecting in marriage equality or not. The polls are way closer than we would like. But I am confident that whatever happens on November 4, our Society can look long and hard in our collective mirror and know that we have done our best and lived our values.
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