No On 8 Rally Update

David Pritchett has just posted a more in-depth article about the work folks are doing on the No on 8 campaign. You can link to the article at the Independent website:

http://www.independent.com/blogs/santa-barbara-public-affairs/2008/oct/29/NO-Prop8-rally-27Oct/

There are a lot of links in this article, and some are well worth clicking on (a couple of them take you to my blog, among other worthy websites). I had to laugh a little reading this article. Especially when I read this part:

"In their responses to sometimes deliberately provocative questions from this correspondent, the rabbis and clergy people looked to the teachings of their own faith about why they oppose Proposition 8. The discussion quickly tested their religious politics, especially as the clergy under the Christian umbrella of denominations remarked with open frustration about how other pastors, preachers, and ministers around Santa Barbara could interpret their same rulebook differently to justify discrimination against some people based only upon sexual orientation."

I do remember David framing some of his questions at the press conference in ways that seemed designed to elicit strong reactions from us - and I remember thinking, "what is this guy up to?" Now I know. Well thanks for pushing us, David, and thanks for your good coverage.

Below is a photo of the Three UU Musketeer-Ministers (the Revs. Erika Hewitt, Melitta Haslund and myself) at the clergy phone bank Prichett attended. Our esteemed colleague Lex Crane was also there, but kindly avoided the photo so as to not outshine the rest of us with his palpable grace and wisdom!

No On Proposition 8!

Since my congregation, the Unitarian Society of Santa Barbara overwhelmingly passed a resolution opposing California Proposition 8, which would strip same sex couples of their right to marry - things have been very busy!

We have been running Sunday morning phone banks between and after services, calling undecided voters to encourage them to vote no. We've also put up a big bright banner in front of our church on a busy street, distributed many yard signs and buttons - and then capped it all off with a march from our sanctuary to the courthouse for a rally. Even though the rally took place on a Monday morning and folks didn't know it was even happening until Sunday morning, at least fifty or sixty of us turned out. It was great fun!

I was one of the speakers at the rally, along with Representative Lois Capps, our Congresswoman, Mayor Marty Blum, the always awesome Rev. Mark Asman and other community leaders.

Here is what I had to say:

Love is at the very heart of my faith, and striving to build a world ever more full of love and hope and possibility is at the heart of my ministry and my life. Love is sacred.

Marriage is the highest, the most sacred expression of loving commitment that two people can make in our society. Marriage is about commitment and it is about love. It is all too easy to get sidetracked into thinking about marriage like an accountant, balancing up the ledger, tallying up the one thousand or so legal and tax benefits that accrue to couples that are legally married.

I have never met a single couple who came to me and said, “We want to get married so we can start profiting from all the many wonderful legal and tax benefits that come with marriage! Boy oh boy - when can we do this thing?”

No. People do not get married for these things, although these things do matter. They want to get married because they want to say, “I do.” They want to join that great stream of all the loving couples who have come before them, joining their hearts forever in marriage. Marriage is not about taxes. It’s about love.

And so I cannot stand by as the same old arguments that were used to keep inter-racial couples from marrying are trotted out yet again and used to keep my same sex sisters and brothers from marrying. Some people say civil unions, “Separate but equal” but I say that separate has NEVER been equal!!! Only two hearts can decide who should be married and who should not and that decision does not belong to any government!

I have only been married for a few years now, and I know that marriage is sometimes hard. I am blessed with so many other couples that help me find my way in marriage – and many of those couples happen to be same sex couples. Their love and commitment is a blessing on this world, and my faith calls me to stand always on the side of equality, justice and love. That’s why I am voting NO on proposition 8!

And now I would like to introduce one of those couples who bless the life of my congregation: Andrew Knox and Doug Reid, wonderful fathers, who although already married in Canada years ago, have just pledged their love anew in a ceremony of marriage at our church this morning! Come on up, guys.



For more about how Santa Barbara's congregations and clergy are positioned on Prop 8, check out this article in our weekly newspaper, the Independent:http://www.independent.com/news/2008/oct/26/santa-barbaras-clergy-proposition-8/

All of this is certainly attracting a good deal of attention. My voicemail at work has been full of messages - some positive, some quite negative. Our congregational voice is being heard. Not everyone likes what we have to say, of course - but at least we are relevant, and most definitely walking our talk. I am proud to serve such a fine community.

Of course we cannot know if we will be successful in protecting in marriage equality or not. The polls are way closer than we would like. But I am confident that whatever happens on November 4, our Society can look long and hard in our collective mirror and know that we have done our best and lived our values.

The Best of Intentions

Sometimes the best of intentions, the most valid of goals – clash. I find this terribly frustrating. It’s hard enough for me to come to any sort of clarity about what I call the “big questions” in life: what is important, how should I live - should I turn this way or that way at the crossroads?

Then, no sooner do I get some of these vexing questions settled (insofar as such questions can ever be settled…) then I find my all noble goals and aspirations crashing into one another!

I had a funny taste of this last Sunday after church. I had just finished delivering a sermon about things, stuff – and our relationship to them. I talked about how easy it is for us to become enslaved by our own “stuff” and by the societal pressure to accumulate and consume ever more ravenously. At the very end of the service, I challenged all of us to go home and take on that dusty and unopened box of junk we all put off dealing with – and to start liberating ourselves from all the “stuff” that clutters our lives and distracts us from the things that matter most.

So far so good.

But then, after the service, a couple of women came up to say hello. They told me how much they enjoyed the service, and then, with a devilish gleam in their eyes, they reminded me that just a couple weeks ago I preached a sermon encouraging people to make their Sundays into Sabbath days – days without work! These two had been assiduously working to build and honor their Sabbath day – and here was their minister telling them to go home and clean out their junk drawers!

Ahhh, there’s the rub.

And so, once again, two important and meaningful priorities collide. I am so grateful for the feedback those two women. They reminded me that the real challenge of living our values is not when we have to choose between the “right way” and the “wrong way” – but when two “right ways” have trouble fitting into the same space at the same time.

I did correct myself in the second service, making sure to encourage people to declare war on their junk on Monday or Tuesday instead of Sabbath Sunday – but still, the issue remains an important one. How can we balance all the values we hold dear, especially when they sometimes seem to be competing for the scant energy we have left over at the end of yet another long day?

Unfortunately, I don’t have a great answer to this question. I struggle with these kinds of tough choices all the time. What I can suggest is that we can be gentle and patient with ourselves. We don’t have to get everything done immediately or perfectly, or maybe even at all. We can take things in their own time, step by step. To paraphrase the Book of Ecclesiastes, there is a time to reap, a time to sow – a time for every purpose under heaven. A time for all things.

But only as individuals can we figure out if this is a time for reaping or sowing - what we need to be working on right now. So reflect deeply, prioritize based on what you need most right now – and don’t beat yourself up when you fall down. The mere fact that so many of us even care about difficult questions like, “how shall I live?” is amazing, and he fact that so many of us try so hard to walk our talk is wonderfully inspiring.

When we find ourselves forced to choose between two goods, then we have to know that something is going very RIGHT in our lives. Those are the kinds of problems I want to have!