Interesting.
But today I want to begin writing about my recent Ordination into the Unitarian Universalist ministry. Although I was Ordained almost a month ago (Sept. 23, 2007), I have not been able to write about it. It’s just too big. In fact, next to my wedding, the births of my children and getting run over by a car – my ordination was probably the most powerful experience of my life.
And even now, a month later, I still don’t know how to write about it. Words fall so terribly short sometimes.
The feeling of being so supported and affirmed by so many wonderful people, the feeling of the church-walls shaking with song – the feeling of being profoundly connected to all who have come before me and to all who will follow – was simply incredible.
I remember looking out from the pulpit at everyone and seeing their faces, eyes, smiles, standing out in sharp relief. In that moment, I found myself utterly overwhelmed by a feeling of deep gratitude. I remember thinking, “Wow – so this is what Grace feels like…”
And that was all I could do for a time – just stand there, washed in the power and beauty of….everything.
I just stood there speechless (a rare occasion, for those of you who know me!). I think a funny sound of some sort tried to make its way out of my mouth – but that was all I could muster, despite the words clearly printed in front of me.
To some extent I remain speechless. Every part of it was perfect, every prayer, every song, every smile and tear. Perfect. I find myself buoyed just by thinking about it. In answer to my colleague Deborah Holder smilingly asked question, “How’s it feel to have your molecules re-arranged?” I say, “Whoa…..”
So rather than keep trying futilely to express the inexpressible, I will simply post two things that I will carry in my heart, draw upon and strive to live up to for the rest of my life.
The first is the Charge to the Minister and Right Hand of Fellowship, which was given to me by the Rev. David Bumbaugh. The second is the sermon the Rev. Dr. Marilyn Sewell preached. More than anyone else, it is to these two Ministers that I offer my thanks. Both of them in their different ways have not only inspired me to ministry – but have shown me, through their lives – how to do it.
Charge To The Minister:
By the Rev. David Bumbaugh
In his novel, A Cup of Gold, John Steinbeck tells the story of Henry Morgan. Young Henry grew up in Wales, and finding—as most of us do—the world of his childhood too narrow for his dreams and too confining for his hopes, decided to abandon it for the New World.
He shares his decision with an old bard named Merlin. Merlin responds to this news by telling Henry that he is like a child who wants the moon and he runs and leaps and grabs, and sometimes he catches a firefly. And Henry looks at old Merlin and asks, “Did you never want the moon?” Merlin says, “Oh yes, I wanted it, I wanted it above all things. I reached for it and then…then I grew up, I became a man and I knew that I could not have the moon and would not want it if I could. I grew up and so I caught no fireflies. I grew up and I became a failure.
But there is this about a failure, Henry," he said: "people know he has failed, and they are kind and sympathetic because they share with him the cloak of mediocrity. But those who have caught fireflies while reaching for the moon are doubly alone; for, as others praise them and set them aside because of their great accomplishments, only they know how great is the distance between the ambition and the achievement, between the dream and the reality.”I
In many ways, this conversation—as I remember it--captures an essential quality of ministry, as I have known it. Ministers are like children who never grow up, who spend their lives reaching for the moon. One of my colleagues once described ministers as “god-driven folk who cannot find god.” We want the moon. We want the light. We want to tease out the eternal meaning that lies all trammeled up in the ordinary and the commonplace. We run and we leap and -- sometimes -- we catch a firefly. And that firefly is the only thing we have to share with our people.
By the nature of our vocation, we are called to share it, to call aloud, "Come! See!" and let others make of it what they will. And sometimes they make very much of it.It is important, however, that we not deceive ourselves or allow others to cloud our understanding. No matter what truth we find, it is never the truth; no matter what gods we encounter, they are not god. And so, Aaron, as you enter upon this curious, demanding, frustrating and sometimes lonely vocation, as you run and leap and reach for the moon I would charge you to share whatever you capture, but always remember two things: First, the firefly you catch is not the moon; and, second the firefly you catch is the moon. In the space opened up by that paradox, ministry becomes possible.
The Right Hand of Fellowship
In this moment, Aaron, not only do you enter formally into your vocation, you also join a long and honored tradition--a tradition that extends back through the centuries--the living tradition of the Unitarian Universalist ministry.
This tradition includes those whose names we write in burning gold--Francis David, Joseph Priestley, John Murray, Hosea Ballou, William Ellery Channing, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Theodore Parker, Joseph Jordan, Olympia Brown,l August Jane Chapin, Phoebe Hanniford. It includes many more whose names are lost to us, but whose courage and commitment have shaped our faith.
It includes all our colleagues who, in these times struggle to shape a world of justice and mercy, of peace and promise.It is my great pleasure to extend to you the right hand of fellowship and welcome you into the living tradition that is the Unitarian Universalist ministry.
I think I started weeping with joy the moment he extended his hand to me. All I could do in that moment was cling to him and cry. Quite out of character for me – except at births, my wedding and – it turns out – my ordination. Thank you, David.
Here is a link to Marilyn’s sermon, “Unitarian Universalism: the Promise and the Challenge.” Thank you, Marilyn.
http://secure.firstuniversalist.org/openrosters/DocDownload.asp?orgkey=1050&id=29356
I think an audio recording of the service was made, and when I find a copy, I will add it to this post, as well as some more photos and the words of other participants – all of which were simply wonderful.
Now, a month later - I still feel profoundly supported and blessed, and I still find myself shaking my head in wonder and thinking, "That's right - this is what Grace feels like."
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